6. LOVE: SNOW SCULPTING
Let me give it to you straight. Only kids and retards build snowmen, bouji boys get creative! I thought mine was appropriate for the blog, but I’ve seen instagrams of snow cars, snow teddy bears, and one impressive one of giant snow cat. Fierce. I personally think my snow penis is pretty impressive – it took fucking ages. I tried to sit on it after but it fell apart quicker than Sinead O’Connor off her meds.
7. HATE: PUBLIC TRANSPORT
Duh. This one goes without saying – we not exactly fond of public transport on normal days, but when it’s colder outside than Angelina Jolie’s man-getting techniques and we’re waiting around on platforms for minutes on end – Raincheck! We’re way more suited for taxi’s anyway.
8) LOVE: FORCED DETOXES
We get to a point where even we tell ourselves that we need a break from partying. Then Thursday comes around and cut to us sat in Circa with a double vodka in one hand and a glass of rosé in the other. Not only does restricted transport prevent us from going out as much, but we don’t actually want to leave our beds. And we also smoke less because you think it’s about jamming pon de pavement huddling with ratchet strangers to keep warm? “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
9) HATE: SORE NOSES
Not only do our nasal passages get royally abused from the fun we have at the weekend (and occasionally in the week), but they’re constantly running so we’re constantly wiping; ergo we sound like cunnilingus (wet and sloppy) and we look like albino versions of Rudolph. Nah-uh. So not the look we wanted while trying to flirt with the cute counter boy in Costa Coffee.
10) LOVE: ERECT NIPPLES
Self explanatory. And goosebumps make you look slimmer too.
COCKTAILS & COCKTALK 