Who decides what is promiscuous? Those goats on the scene that heard one ratchet story from a friend of a friend of a friend? Please. Or maybe you just live by comparisons to your friends. Unless of course you’ve fucked them all – in which case:
So say you sleep with one person a month – to me, that doesn’t sound prolifically slutty. But by the time you’ve been out on the scene for five years, that’s 60 people. Which, compared to the average straight person, is quite high. I, personally, don’t think I have as much sex as most other gay men – which, when compared to some ropey Circuit festival-enthusiast is probably true. But then, when compared to the clientele of Molly Moggs on the other hand, I’m probably a harlot.
So who even knows how much sex the average gay man has. Compared to some of my friends, I’m a total whore. But compared to the ones that aren’t in a committed/closed relationship, I’m an absolute angel. When is slutty, too slutty? Let’s steer clear of answers like “when you’ve prolapsed in the middle of Tesco” and “when there’s no STIs left to catch” – chill girl, they ain’t Pokémon.
Perhaps ‘too slutty’ is only defined by when you start to lose respect for yourself (while everyone else lost it long time ago). And are bottoms classified as bigger sluts than tops? Or is the number irrelevant, and you’re only a slut when your hoop is all haggard? In my eyes, a hoe is hoe, it don’t matter bout sexual preference. Is the term promiscuous even still considered a negative one? Or is it fairly norm for single people?
In which case, are promiscuous and slutty two different things? Just because somebody has a lot of sex, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a slut… Or does it? I think being a “slut” is less about the number of partners (although that’s still relevant), and more about attitudes. If somebody thinks racking up countless notches is winning, maybe they need a new mirror. The only thing you’re winning is the race to another Gonorrhea shot. When you’re knocking up large numbers of partners over a weekend, or sometimes a night, without even the slightest bit of embarrassment, your friends should be pulling you up a chair.
From what I understand of discussions with friends, it’s pretty common/normal to go through phases – one where having sex is as regular as brushing one’s teeth, and another where it’s running drier than chicken without moisture.
One night stands can be fun and are quite a natural thing. But if you’re only ever out for the D, think shagging counts as an achievement, and are frequently finding yourself on your knees in the middle of a wank circle – that’s just Jezzebel’s play.
Does it even matter anymore? Or is promiscuity/sluttiness a thing of the past, like romance?
Other posts you might like:
>> Thought of the Day: Seduction
>> Growing Up? How 2013 Changed Our Perspective On Dating
>> Sex Parties 101
>> Thought of the Day: Seduction
>> Growing Up? How 2013 Changed Our Perspective On Dating
>> Sex Parties 101




I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years. What’s interesting, is that with this boyfriend, the one who really feels like the one, I’ve experienced more sex with other men than ever before. It was so refreshing to be able to say that I was curious about threesomes, open relationships, polygamy, etc. I didn’t really know where I stood with all that and I didn’t want to make a decision until I had experienced it…. anyway, long story short, in the last couple of years we’ve been with a few men and I’ve came to a few conclusions…. firstly, at least for me, even if it’s just a shag, chemistry makes the whole difference. It’s fantastic to get on well with someone, it helps to have a great time, in and out of bed. But often that doesn’t happen…. a lot of men just have sex in a really non enthusiastic way, I mean, they might be enthusiastic and ready for it, but you kinda get the impression that it could be you or any other hot guy…. the balance is so tipped onto the porn-type sex that I find a lot of men just a bit ridiculous and unsexy (BTW, I’m generalising and referring a lot to the scene). I think for some men there is pressure in being “promiscuos” or “slutty”, the amount of sex you have proves, somehow, how comfortable you are in your own skin. I love sex, and various forms of it, but I also think we’ve overrating it and I think that can be damaging. I have had really “slutty” friends in the last 2 years that decided to just stop the act a bit and give relationships of whatever sort a chance. It’s a risk but personally I think the reward is worth it.
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