There are some stories that you just can’t reveal on an internet sensation such as C&C, because they are just TOO mortifying at the time… Even though “ratchet” is what we do best. But when a significant amount of time has passed, you’re so over it, and you can kind of laugh. KIND OF.

It was a long time ago, when Grindr and GBL were actually fun, and I was so off my tits I’d agreed to go and meet this local couple. Because you know when you’re that high, two cocks are always better than one. And that’s exactly what opened the door – a pair of bell ends. My first inclination should have been that they lived in a council flat. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but 80% of the time they are junkies. So not too sure why I was surprised that these two had fallen into that 80%. Although I suppose everybody has to start somewhere – not that these fraggles looked like they were going anywhere soon, accept perhaps to pick up their dole money.

As I trod over the empty baggies, dirty underpants and silverware they’d used as drug paraphernalia – I’m still slightly embarrassed to admit that I didn’t leave then. Ah, the beauty of G.

I watched as the gangly one drooled over his keyboard and bashed one out to Cam4, and the slightly less repulsive one feebly attempted to tidy the room. I expect he’d somehow got caught up with the tall guy, who’d clearly been abusing narcotics in an Amy Winehouse fashion for quite some time.

I’m sitting on the bed wondering what the fuck Cinderella was doing hanging with the two ugly sisters. The lanky streak of piss announces he’s going to take a shower. A shower? Bitch you need a baptism and a chemical peel. There’s an idea, why don’t you go shower… with acid! Actually, has anyone told you that to save half the time, take the hair-dryer in the shower with you.


He’s stripping off and tugging at his knob, and grinning at me like he’s a little old lady and I’m a basket of kittens. You’d think that having less teeth than a maternity ward would inspire one to put down the pipe. But evidentially she cleaned her teeth as frequently as she did her bedroom.

Unfortunately the urge for an orgasm was still stronger than the urge to call a taxi, so I just waited for him to get in the shower and then I fucked his boyfriend. *Files nails*
Although not sure what was more entertaining, getting laid or watching them argue about it afterwards. Wait, yeah it was definitely the latter.
Whatever. Totally not the first time I’ve come between two men, although definitely the first (and last) time I’ve come between two crackheads. Surprised they didn’t start fighting over me like I was the last bit of brown left in the foil.


Totally not a high point of my life, but the most ratchet times make for the best reading. And character building, right?

Other posts you might like:
>> Dating Tales: Hot Vauxhall Mess
>> DATING TALES: The Bleedin’ Cheek Of It
>> DATING TALES: Eating Out For Breakfast