It’s been a while, but our what’s hot and what’s not feature is back to tell you what’s trending in the world of celebrity, boys, dating and life in general.
GOING UP: Casual Sex
That’s not to say we should all be taking a leaf out of Magaluf Girl’s book of bad decisions but casual sex without complications can be healthy. When it’s with someone you’re attracted to and have chemistry with, you should be walking home on cloud nine – even if you are traipsing through Wimbeldon on a hangover.
It don’t even matter that you’re looking like some gang raped scarecrow ’cause girl, you just got laid. More often than not, drunk sex is more satisfying than sex when you’re high – even if the drugs do give you a raging hard on. And believe it or not, casual sex doesn’t make you a slut – as long as it’s not a revolving door of thirsty Grindr trolls. And just FYI, there’s nothing “casual” about sitting on a hook-up app for hours on end – trust us, we’ve done it.
GOING DOWN: Club Hoes
There was a time when it didn’t really matter how promiscuous a man was, if he was hot, we still wanted him. Because we’re men and that’s what we do. Nowadays ain’t nothing more of a turn-off than a nasty club hoe. It don’t matter how high your arse cheeks or cheek bones are, if we see you lipsing up half a dozen men in one club and stumbling out of cubicles with your flies undone, feel free to stumble your way past us, to irrelevance and invisibility.
GOING UP: Cutting Bitches Off
It may sound harsh, and while we’re not suggesting blocking every twat that pisses you off, life is certainly too short for negative energy. If all a goat has to offer you is a giant ego and a bump of mephedrone, perhaps you need to reconsider the people you’re surrounded by. Behaviour breeds behaviour after all – and if you’re constantly being fed bitter comments and under-hand shade; hide her from your News Feed.
GOING DOWN: Geordie Boys
Sorry boys, but y’all got our expectations up well too high. To be fair though, there’s nobody to blame but us. When we came up North we expected to be surrounded by buffed up lads in razor back vests and cocky attitudes. It would be like you travelling to Essex and expecting the gay clubs to be full of Mark Wrights and Dan Osbornes, and finding a load of tangerine twinks with muffin tops and bad highlights.
GOING UP: Ariana Grande
Not only does Ariana Grande have the voice of an angel and the figure of a sexy malnourished ballerina – she also knows how to lay down a seriously catch tune. Her latest release ‘Problem’ has gone to number one in the single charts and the newly implemented streaming chart (a first ever – setting a world record). But upcoming release ‘Break Free’ looks set to be even better. Sure, it’s certainly not as “cool” as ‘Problem’, but camp anthems are the best songs to strut to. It kind of sounds like something the Saturdays would release – but with vocal talent.
She’s also got another single coming out with Nicki Minaj and Jessie J. AND she’s gonna perform at the VMAs TWICE. This girl is absolutely everything right now.
GOING DOWN: Michelle Rodriguez
One minute she’s lezzing off with the world’s most current supermodel, the next she’s frolicking with the worlds biggest movie star. Between Cara De Leveigne and Zac Efron, Michelle Rodriguez’s sex life reads like a who’s who of confused sexuality. A very attractive list nonetheless but still. We expect she’ll be spotted on a romantic rendezvous with Ru Paul next month. But why is she bouncing from one huge star to next like it’s switching what type of milk she drinks. Has she forgotten how to act?