dustin-vs-cocktalk

Well, perhaps tensions were running slightly high last week when Dustin Lance Black (star of ‘Milk’ and Olympic diver Tom Daley’s boyfriend) had a lawyer get in touch over images we published from his sex tape that leaked online. The images, originally posted on Perez Hilton’s blog, showed the award winning actor sucking some rando off and having bareback sex.

As a “celebrity” – or anyone that makes a sex tape – you should expect the worst. And unfortunately, having footage of you getting ragged out without a condom leaked on the world wide web, is pretty much the worst.

Then you’ve gotta go through the agg of hiring some spam head lawyer to get the bouji blogger to take down the pics…

The very serious email from Dustin’s Lawyer reads:

#

Dear Fierce Blogger Sir/Madam:

We represent Dusty Lance Black (Tom Daley’s boyfriend for the 97% of the world who hasn’t heard of him). It is our understanding that you own or operate cocktailsandcocktalk.com (the “Site”). We understand that automattic.com is the webhost, rendering it liable to a wanky lawsuit  DMCA penalties. The Site has published bareback images of Mr. Black getting wocked out that are copyrighted and owned by him. The cringe-worthy sex tape copyrighted material can be found at the following page on the best Site in the world:
http://cocktailsandcocktalk.com/2013/12/04/dustin-lance-blacks-sex-tape-nsfw/.

The URL of the bumming material is:

https://cocktailsandcocktalk.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/dustin4.jpg?w=635

Mrs.Black owns the copyrights to the sodomy photographs from which the material is derived.  Any continued use constitutes willful infringement of his dignity copyrights, subjecting you to $150,000 in statutory damages, or actual damages, whichever is greater, along with an award of my attorney’s fees. Mr. Black can and will obtain immediate injunctive relief against the use of his copyrighted image as well.

Immediately remove the material and any others that contain copyrighted photos of Mr. Black noshing off from your site.

Mr. Bland owns the icky film that the material is taken from, and any derivation of the film, including but not limited to the above-identified material. Pursuant to a November 6, 2009 Order by Judge R. Gary Klausner in Dustin Lanky Black v. Starzlife, et al. (United States District Court, Central Red Light District of California Case No. CV09-5380), Douchey Lance Black is the sole owner of the subject film and any publication of it or any photographs or other works derived from it constitute some crappy law-breaking copyright infringement. A copy of the order is available at:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8PdGyaF6W_feFo5dkl1d0hscGJPZWd1dmd4WEZoLThMN3Zz/edit?usp=sharing

The registration number for Dull Lance Black photographic stills is Registration No. VAu000992298.

I have a good faith belief that the use of the cock-fondling copyrighted material is not authorized by the copyright owner, its arsey agent, or the losers of law.

I hereby state that the jibberish information in this Notice is annoying accurate and, under penalty of poofery perjury, that I am authorized to act on behalf of the kinky sod owner of the copyright or of an exclusive right under the copyright that is infringed.

Sincerely,

Big-Shot Lawyer  Vance Woodward

###

Little old me, getting sued all the way from Sunset Boulevard… who’d have thought it? You know you’ve made it when you’ve got legal beef with a Hollywood actor. As a friend of mine suggested all I needed now was a Nigella-styled court appearance and I’d be just as famous as him.

Firstly, how you gonna sue a brother for $150,000 when he’s still in debt from his student loan? And as my brother rightly puts… “what are they gonna sue you for, your messy bedroom and half a bag of skunk?” He had a point…

Other posts you might like:
>> Fagony Aunt: Tom Daley Seeks Advice
>> Fagony Aunt: A Letter From Nigella
>> NEWS: Hilton The Homophobe