1. The Plastics – Mean Girls
Why? The Plastics are quite simply the coolest, and arguably the most popular high school clique in film history. Stereotypical, attractive, camp, bitchy and fabulous. Need I say more? Imagine leaving your house on a bad hair day and then you’ve started a trend.
2. The Toros – Bring It On
Why? “They’re sexy, they’re cute, they’re popular to boot. They’re crazy, they’re cool, they dominate the school.” And rhyming chants was just one of the reasons we love this high school cheerleading squad, alongside backflips, bisexuality and skimpy uniforms. They taught us how to make eye contact with a hot guy across a crowded bar – only they called it “cheer sex”.
3. Pink Ladies/T-Birds – Grease
Why? These two gangs were one of the ‘original’ cliques of popular kids. The boys wore black leather jackets and the girls, pink ones. The sexual tension between Danny and Sandy reminds us of the innocence and butterflies of first relationships (bless) and the fact that they could burst into catchy song at any given moment was just an added bonus. As if nobody even suspected that thrusting pelvis of John Travolta’s would soon be gyrating on a male masseur.
4. Evie & Tracy – Thirteen
Why? These two girls defined “hot mess”. Way more rebellious than any other high school gang which is exactly why we loved them. Blowjobs in shop changing rooms, DIY piercings and solvent sniffing behind bedroom doors – actually just sounds like some of the chill outs I’ve been too, but girls that behave like trashy gays was so in around the turn of the millenium.
5. Cher, Tai & Dionne – Clueless
Why? To be fair, Clueless was quite ahead of it’s time with the constant use of their mobile phones and even a fashion sense that puts shame on some of the states I see on the tube today. They also partake in everything we look for in a stereotypical high school clique – makeovers, match-making and addictive phrases – “Urgh! As if!”
6. The Heathers – Heathers
Why? Aside from the checkered skirt suits and bulging shoulder pads, they even manage to encorporate their bitchiness into croquet (the grandmother of all games). Classic one-liners such as “did you have a brain tumour for breakfast?” put these girls in a league of their own. It helps that Winnona Ryder can basically do no wrong – apart from when she visits Department stores.
7. Thomas, Costa & Miles – Project X
Why? They may not be the most popular or attractive clique at their school, but it’s fair to say their popularity sky-rocketted after throwing the world’s most infamous house party. I’ve been to some wild parties in my time, but that shit is next level. So if you know anyone having a party where there’ll be midgets in the oven, nudity at every turn and bouncy castle the size of a fucking house – drop me an email.
8. Courtney, Julie & Marcie – Jawbreaker
Why? The girls of Jawbreaker were the original Mean Girls – and boy, we they fucking mean. I mean Regina George was an “evil dictator” but she never killed anyone. After the death of their friend, the troupe of girls kind of split, Julie being outcast and Vylett taking her place. But whether you were the replacement or the replaced you would still be thankful for being in that gang at one point or another.
9. The Cullens – Twilight
Why? Whether you liked the Twilight franchise or not, you can’t deny that the Cullens are just effortless. Sure they’re pale and weird compared to the other kids in the school – but on the side you’d just be like “whatever bitches” because you knew you had super powers and they just had homework. Now that’s how you take a bitch to college.
10. Charlie, Sam & Patrick – The Perks of Being A Wallflower
Why? They’re what the Plastics might call the ‘art freaks’ but we love the creative side of this trio. They’re not the coolest three kids in school, but it seems they don’t care too much what people think anyway. They realistically deal with angst, emotion and other teenage dramas – so they’re totally relatable.
11. Seth, Evan & Fogle – Superbad
Why? Though these three were seen as ‘uncool’ by their peers, after getting fake ID and a run in with police and countless other unfortunate encounters, they proved themselves with major cool points.
12. Jim and the gang – American Pie
Why? One of the most legendary all-boy cliques of American teen movies. Unlike girl cliques, the boys tend to have a lot less rules – and this one only reason has one in fact – get laid before graduation. Oh honey, if we were a part of that gang we’d clearly be the Queen B. In fact their probably the only people in the world that have more embarrassing sexual experiences than us.
13. Sarah & the Witches – The Craft
Why? When Sarah joins a new Catholic school she falls in with a coven of girls practising witchcraft. And while most girls in school would get back any wrong-doers with a bitchy prank, these did it with magic. Before everything goes royally tits up, they are running tings when bullies start going bald, ex-lovers come crawling back and rocking a goth/glam style co-ordination. *Files nails.
High School Cliques in 3 steps:
1) The popular girls take on an unpopular girl and give her a makeover as part of the initiation process.
2) Unpopular girl overtakes social status of most popular girl and she screams “I made you who you are bitch!”
3) All bitches get their comeuppance, while the good-natured girl gets the boy.