Going Up: Twinks

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Twinks are seriously ‘in’ right now. Maybe it’s something in the air or an alignment of the stars but we’ve been feeling very grown up recently, and every grown up needs a hot younger man on their arm at least once in their life. They’re refreshing, naive and energetic – like Chantelle Houghton before Preston broke her heart and she ended up with Roxanne Alex Reid.

Going Down: The Guy Who Wants You Back

Sayonara! Perhaps you dated five years ago and he mugged you off in front of some random queen in a kebab shop (it hurt at the time), or perhaps you had a one night stand after getting snorting bags of k alongside shots of vodka before he told you ‘I just see you as a friend’, or maybe he was the guy that stopped texting you back because he saw a photo of you in a wig – so buzzing you thought you were Katie Price but actually looked more like Katie Tunstall. Whoever it was, now he’s inboxing you’re Facebook, all like…

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And you’re like…

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Going Up: Going commando

The cold weather may not be the best time to bare all beneath your jeans, but it’s still warm enough to go commando for another week or so. And there’s something about walking through Soho in a pair of grey jogging bottoms with no underwear that really makes men stare. Although, I can’t for the life of me imagine what it is.

Going Down: Summer

Reporters announced that Friday was ‘the last day of summer’ (naturally I was working until 8pm), and just like that it was gone. Jumpers came on, rain came down and it was officially cold in the morning. As sad as tucking away your skimpy swim trunks for another year is, the plus sides to winter include: allowing yourself to put on a few pounds, no sweating on public transport and onesies. So it’s not all bad.

Going Up: Devious Maids

The hot new U.S. show from the writers of Desperate Housewives was AWOL last week because of the mid-season break or the Superbowl or something, but returned last night and was just as good as we remembered!! Not only was there a major unveiling about the death of Flora, but we also got to see the softer side of Alessandro who is forced to stay in the closet because of his celebrity status; in a genuinely touching scene. The show has D.H. written all over it, but with much darker story lines – it’s like getting that fix you once had, but with fresh characters (played by a lot of familiar faces). Seriously if you haven’t seen it yet, jump aboard!

Going Down: Miley Cyrus

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Just a couple weeks ago, Miley would have been on our ‘hot’ list, with a dramatic trim (on her waistline and her hair) and rocking some serious high fashion Versace. But now, we’re TOTALLY bored. Attention seeking, overbearing and over-BARING, Miss Cyrus reminds me of an American Helen Flanagan – albeit with some actual talent. She needs to stop shaking that skinny arse in an attempt to twerk and most importantly she needs to put that damn tongue away. She has absolutely no idea how to be sexy; it’s all very try hard. Point proven in Slutty Cyrus: The Sequel (aka new single ‘Wrecking Ball’) where she swings around naked on… a wrecking ball. Clever. Why is she licking that hammer? That’s so unhygienic, it’s probably got all bacteria and shit on. Now her tongue gonna be dirtier than when she first went into Robin Thicke’s dressing room.