Ever seen a snap of a celeb-utant that you thought looked like an extra from Emmerdale Farm? Yep…

1. If Black Beauty wore Jimmy Choo…

Sarah Jessica Parker

Sarah Jessica Parker

2. If fish actually paid surgeons to put a pyloric sphincter on their face…

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton

3. If Shamu could live out of water…

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian

4. If poodles bred drag queens…

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera

5. If plucked chickens could have multiple wardrobe malfunctions…

Tara Reid

Tara Reid

6. If Afghan dogs had less personality than a rolling pin.

animal-leona

Leona Lewis

7. If Llamas threw foot long bongs out of New York penthouses…

Amanda Bynes

Amanda Bynes

8. If chimps attacked paparazzi with umbrellas…

Britney Spears

Britney Spears

9. If the Coco Pops monkey was a skanky-ass diva that waved its finger in people’s faces…

Diva LongWHOREia

Diva LongWHOREia

10. He’s not a socialite and that’s not an animal, but how much does Michael Douglas look like a diseased scrotum?

Michael Douglas

Michael Douglas