Ever seen a snap of a celeb-utant that you thought looked like an extra from Emmerdale Farm? Yep…
1. If Black Beauty wore Jimmy Choo…
2. If fish actually paid surgeons to put a pyloric sphincter on their face…
3. If Shamu could live out of water…
4. If poodles bred drag queens…
5. If plucked chickens could have multiple wardrobe malfunctions…
6. If Afghan dogs had less personality than a rolling pin.
7. If Llamas threw foot long bongs out of New York penthouses…
8. If chimps attacked paparazzi with umbrellas…
9. If the Coco Pops monkey was a skanky-ass diva that waved its finger in people’s faces…
10. He’s not a socialite and that’s not an animal, but how much does Michael Douglas look like a diseased scrotum?
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