I hadn’t even heard of this show until my friend Nick told me about it recently. Now, two weeks on, I’ve watched the whole of the first two series. HOOKED! And here are the Top 7 reason’s why… (Beware there are some spoilers if you haven’t reached the end)
Jessica Lange has this character type down! The witty retorts, the mannerisms and the 60s glam are on par with our other favourite TV bitch, Victoria Grayson. Despite being openly homophobic, she’s still a gay icon!
OK, so most of the “sex scenes” are in actual fact rape scenes, but Ryan Murphy knows how to film that shit so it’s actually quite horny. Head-to-toe latex, nuns fucking priests and slutty maids aside, there’s something subtle about how the scenes are shot (despite being anything but subtle). Most of them being kinkier than a cheap garden hose had nothing to do with it either. The moment when Adam Levine licks his hand in season twos opening episode!! – *drool*
From satiric humour to poignant realisations the scripting verges on genius. Jessica Lange’s delivery is a killer. And Zachary Quinto deserves an honourable mention for the camp queen in season one.
Constance (to Moira): I also remember, every time I see that ghostly eye, I was – and continue to be – one hell of a shot.
Constance: Well make sure he’s off the property before he expires. I wouldn’t care to encounter his carcass ever again.
Chad: I am trying to make this place warm and inviting and spectacular and have this Halloween party shot by Elle friggin Decor so someone will see it and sweep in and take this place off our hands, and then I can feel free to fall in love with a 25-year-old who has great biceps. So get off my back, carve a goddamn pumpkin, go get a goddamn costume, and man up
You know that eery feeling you get while watching a horror movie? Well imagine having that as a weekly installment. I’m a big fan of horror movies, and there hasn’t been many (if any) TV series of horror genre that continue witht he same plot each week. That’s because tieing narrative in with scares is an indredibly hard thing to do, but they pull it off! They’ve been a few shoot-out scenes in American TV (One Tree Hill, Desperate Housewives) but none of them even come close to the darkness of this one. And when the girl wets herself, that’s just damn uncomfortbale. It took me back to primary school when that girl pissed herself during assembly. Unfortunately I had to be sitting next to her and didn’t realise until it had trickled onto my sock.
7. THOSE men…
One thing both seasons weren’t lacking was fit men. Zachary Quinto (‘Heroes’), Dylan McDermott (‘Three to Tango’, ‘Will & Grace’) and a cameo from Adam Levine (Maroon 5) would have even the least sexual viewers hot under the collar. And I’m not gonnam lie, I even thought Joseph Fiennes (Monsignor) was pretty damn fine! And fucking a priest is probably one of the few role-plays ~I haven’t got round to yet… *sets reminder in phone*