Well, even after three legs, for every hot sexual experience, I guess there’s three worth forgetting! I’d been talking to this guy for a while, he was lovely albeit a bit camp, (he’d swing his head back and forth like Britney’s Womanizer when he danced) – and when someone’s 8 foot tall the last thing you need to see towering above the crowds is a hairwhip. Come to think of it, he danced like my friend _____ that had one leg shorter than the other.
At his we downed cocktails like we were Kerry Katona and they were… well cocktails. The best kind as well, homemade. Near undrinkable, but like every guy I love a challenge. So on our second or third date at his watching movies, through blurry double-vision, we moved (stumbled) into the bedroom. Not full sex, as despite being completely wankered – Girl gotta have some dignity!!
“Ladies, Am I right?” – Karen Walker
After mediocre fumbling and falling asleep on what felt like a bed of roasting coal in hell’s stove fire, I awoke to a room much cooler. Then… he wants the morning sex! I mean, the audacity! Making me sleep in the world’s warmest fung shui parlour after pouring dangerous amount of liquer down my throat, and NOW wants the most dehydrated sex I’ve ever had – Absolutely Not!
So like Jack he gets out of bed to fetch a pail of water, and low.and.behold. There it was… There. It. Was. Bunny Ears. Those of you that watch SATC will totes know; but SEE PHOTO.
If this was a TV show, now would be the point when I turn toward the camera, bite my lip, cross-browed and depict the future of the relationship.
VERDICT: It didn’t progess. Cut to me scrambling on the floor looking for my (not-so-lucky-anymore) underwear. It wasn’t just the bunny ears, I’m not THAT shallow. It was also the dancing, and the future state of my liver.